I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
