I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
