I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
