The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
