You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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