i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
