I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
