my sisters under your porch take her home
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
