So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
