I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
