she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
