ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
