my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
