My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
