"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
