I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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