singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Drunk is a universal language darling
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
