sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
