So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
