my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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