At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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