hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
