im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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