i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
