I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
