How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
