I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
