And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
