names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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