No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Randomize
