i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
