I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
