WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
