Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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