On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize