I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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