Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
