my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
This is my gift to your gina
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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