I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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