Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
there is glitter all over my balls
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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