I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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