Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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