Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
