We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dignity is for republicans.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
