Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Its about making memories worth repressing
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
