I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize