Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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