I just saw a hot homeless man
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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