I hate your face
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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