covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
