Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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