Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
