Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
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