It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
