Will you blow on my dice?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
