i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
