Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
