So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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