Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
