I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
